It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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