Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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