hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize