There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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