I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
