Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
