coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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