He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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