girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
