Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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