life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
