Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
