Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
