he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
