problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
