Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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