I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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