i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize