My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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