I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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