I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
