Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
