Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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