clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
