His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize