Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
