it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
