party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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