I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
