So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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