I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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