Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
birth control should be required to get into college
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
