This girl is more easily done than said...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
