He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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