oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
