Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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