Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
