my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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