Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
