I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
