I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
