Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
