nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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