But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
