she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
