Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
