It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
