Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
