Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
