You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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