That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize