It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize