The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
