News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize