she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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