I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Houston, we have a squirter
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
