That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
God, you're like boner-b-gone
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
As shirtless as possible
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
