worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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