physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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