I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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