There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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