Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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