I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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