I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize