Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
