I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
