I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
