Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
