Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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