we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
