Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
