okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
