Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
