remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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