whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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