Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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