I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
