peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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