shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
